My Moments to Breathe

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

D4/5 did you miss me?!

Oxygen is my drug. It has been 6 months now that I have been addicted to it, and I don't see that ending in the near (or far) future. My body got a taste of it after years of not getting it and it constantly wants more and does so well. Deep in my lungs.

Then I went and got sick. Yuck, what was I thinking.

I called the drs office four times in one week. SIGH. A trip to the emergency room on a Sunday morning reveled that I had strep throat. WHAT?! I know, right...a normal person bug. Now don't get me wrong, I was down and it hurt. And the worst part was this was all while my Mom and aunt were in from Michigan. It is never fun being sick when all you want to do is have good times with the girls. Luckily, they are wonderful women who let a sicky come even rubbed my sinuses, a miracle that if you have never had it. That and some tylenol, best pain relief.

The girls left and the week went on, fevers, chills and a cough. I still went on with my daily everything, but knew I wasn't doing them as well or as happy, and my spiro was starting to dip (if it dips more than 10% it means CALL NOW.) Then came Memorial Day, it was a nice lazy day full of cribbage, sitting on the patio, and a long nap. My body was obviously trying to tell me something. But being the stubborn Cyster/transplant patient I am, I didn't listen and urge the drs more strongly until I woke up from my nap and an hour later, while sitting under a blanket with full sweat gear and the chills, I took my temp and BOOM a scary 104.1.  Ummmm, yes I think a trip to Madisons ER was in order. Long story short, I was without a doubt admitted into the hospital...even through Laila tears.

I saw many of the nurses that took care of me during the big blessed battle 6 months ago. So, this will be the first time I have made this public, but I have to tell you that I named my new lungs. One Francesca and the other Shannon, who were both the best nurses I could have asked for during that time. They did a ton for me, and I was fortunate enough to have Fran this time around too. I also got to see other nurses, RTs, both surgeons, a few drs and nps, and I also got to see Dean who I called my chest tube angel (and also through a long drugged up Cassie story I ended up naming my phone after him...long story....)

I got a little beat up these past few weeks. I ended up having a touch of Pneumonia, para influenza 3, staff, high kidney functions, low white blood cells, and a sad looking CT scan of my sinuses. But with all that said, I am now home with oral antibiotics. This is a little beyond crazy for me. It is the first time I went in sick and whatever they were doing for me wasn't just a band-aid to help me feel better to get through life a little longer, it was the first time I went in and was getting medicine to get better. And I was told that more than likely I would make a full recovery. Healing and healthy and able to look forward to getting better. I could look forward to enjoying the summer.

This gift of new lungs has helped me turn into a little bit more of me than I remember. Now I will never be the old me ever again, and I will never put the pressure to be that person on me, but at least I am seeing new life. My life. It is all still a journey and a process that I will have to go through all day everyday. I will still never get away from Cystic Fibrosis and the transplant. It is a frightening, exciting, odd journey. One that I am proud to say I have survived and am still battling. My week-o-meds container is getting more fuller and much brighter, its actually really pretty. And to tell you the truth its not just pretty because the only color it doesn't hold is purple, but because all those little pills have a purpose and work together to keep these lungs stable and my life going. Gorgeous!

My body is still beat up, my mind is still a little fragile...I am learning to accept everything, including myself. One day I will share more of this with all of you. Try to help you understand the thought process and the way my body now is. I am healthy and healing.

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