My surgery. Ugh. Groan. My surgery.
I will blow off some steam and then let it go.
I was blessed enough that my mom came to help. She helped a ton, and thanked the Lord for her many times. The weight of Laila having a normal(ish) life was lifted as much as guilt allows it to. Also thanks to Jeremy who handled me well. And my other 2 visitors while I was in....great catching up with both of you!!
I knew going into this that I was spending a few night hooked up to an IV until the cultures showed what meds I needed. And even though I wasn't thrilled about that, I wasn't upset that they were taking care of my lungs.
I packed my bags, full of comfy clothes and things to do during the long days. Every Team Cassie shirt, cute new socks, my fav pants, the game SET, coloring books, magazines....etc etc, and Jeremy and I headed off to Madison on Sunday night. I had to be at the hospital before 5:30 am.
We go to Madison and I did what I normally do before surgery. I eat as much as I can, drink some, take a bath, shave, wash my hair a good last time, pray all night, and just try and relax. I was ready for the next morning. Tired, but ready.
I was ready for the headaches to be gone, the pressure in my sinuses, the infection gone, and just get to the next level of the process. I was so excited about the thought. After three pokes, they finally got a sort of good IV in and without warning gave me the relax juice. I just remember telling the anesthesiologist he was a trickster, going into the OR (and thinking it was so tiny compared to the transplant one....well duh) and moving unto the table. Then waking up in pain, Jeremy wasn't there, and I wasn't sitting up much.
I was shortly moved to my room, given pain meds, and finally Jeremy was aloud to come in. Ahhh I was starting to feel ok, wake up more, talk to people and eat. Such is surgery, its over and on the mend.
But that would just be too easy, right? I ended up being semi allergic to one of the antibiotics they put me on. My arm burned, turned red, and blew up in little itchies. So I was like, yeah, just stop that one then and lets move on. So they did, but of course they still needed to pull my IV out. And put another in. But this time it was a midline in my upper arm with the IV team. So another poke, more tape, and a sore arm later...I was doing more meds. And it was over, and I could heal.
I would call home often, and Laila would call me when I didn't call her. The call was full of tears, almost each time. A little girl just wanting her mommy to be back home, and her mommy wanting to be back home just as much.
I was excited that Thursday looked like the day that I would be going home. I was feeling good, my packing was coming out, I could go for a real walk, and I just ordered my pancakes...I was a happy girl. So lets go! The packing first.
ENT came around 9 to do it in my room, even better. I knew from previous times that the packing hurts for about 5 seconds and then a rush or relief. But this rush of relief was a huge rush....a rush of bright red blood. Non stop. So they spray it to help stop. Didn't help. Pinch and head on knees for 30 minutes. Didn't stop. I was spitting and wiping blood out of my mouth. I went through over a book of gauze. So they had to put the packing back in. Didn't stop it. The blood was all over my shirt, down my neck and cheeks, my mouth was crusted with dark red dried blood. All day I sat with blood spilling over my packing. I knew what this meant, I was warned.
Another surgery. They had to stop the bleeding. So as my pulm dr was ready to send me home or oral antibiotics. I was stuck with a midline and getting ready for another surgery. But I was suppose to go home!
So with kleenex in my bed, I was wheeled down for pre-op. Put under in hopes that cauterizing the vessel would work. Just praying so hard.
I woke up, and there was no blood on me, there was no bandage under my nose trying to stop it. It worked. Phew. I could hopefully go home on Friday if all went well over night. And praise the Lord, it did.
I walked away with a swollen nose, and with a fat and numb lip, burns from the tape on my face, 4 bruises from IVs...but I got to walk away. I got to walk away with no blood, with no Iv, and holding my daughters hand. Again, praise the Lord.
I had a pre-op appointment this past Monday, a little nervous for what all was going to be done. Ha...nothing like walking in and the announce "Our problem child here."
All I could think was maybe I was THIS doctors problem child...but I am tranplants golden one.
They didn't do anything to my nose that day, they treated it like a brand new baby...a brand new baby that they didn't want to bleed all over the place. So they told me to rinse 8 cups of salt/steroid meds through my nose a day to help it heal. But did also say everything looked good considering what they all had done, And the best news...all the infection was cleared out and it had only cultured staph. No ultra nasty bug.
So I am sitting at home, healing, fixing meds to make sure all levels are normal, eating as healthy and my prednisone will let me HaHa!
And so it goes, I can let it go!