My Moments to Breathe

Monday, September 8, 2014


My nights since transplant have been full of no sleep. It is really starting to wear on me. I have dark circles and bags-under-bags under my eyes. I am starting to feel and look pretty old. If I could just sleep, several straight hours of wonderful sleep. If you are ever up between 1-4 and are bored, shoot me a text and we can keep each other company. I wish I could figure out what it is that is standing in my way and causing me to get the rest I need at night...therefore needing to crash in middle of the day. Between that and my sinuses I heard myself, through tears, under the words, "It just feels like I did with CF...tired and in pain again."

I think it is just because I had such a wonderful taste of being wonderful, and know its silly things getting in my way, that make me feel and say those things. My lungs are still so great, and I can do so much still without getting out of breath...its just lack of sleep and migraines that stop me now. C'mon! Now I do know this is better than the alternative, and better than my old lungs, so I really don't mean to complain. I'm just tired and need sleep.

The good thing is that since I am used to having chronic discomfort and the such, I can still manage to do most daily tasks. Its just that I put them off as long as I can. Thats totally normal, right? No its pretty much just pure laziness. I just want to have all that energy again. Suck it up Zell!!

Now that I said it and wrote it, I won't again mention least not in the blog. But Jeremy will have to hear about it, bummer for him. 

I was asked and am signed up to talk at the Lansing, MI Wine Event for the CFF and am pretty excited to do so. Its not often at all that I get to talk in MI. And this will be my first talk post transplant! 

Hope you all are enjoying this little bit of summer left!

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