I was a kid once

When I was a little girl I never had to be told I was sick. Or what CF was. I just grew up knowing I was a little different than most kids. 

Now the odd thing is that my sister is not that healthy either. When she was a baby she had open heart surgery and has had to go to the doctor every few years to check her heart out. We often joke to my parents that it was a sign they shouldn't have mixed Italian, Swedish and German together and that God was telling them ENOUGH! Ok all jokes aside I think that her being sick too helped a bit. Only because at least I wasn't the only messed up child in our families! (BTW she is doing AWESOME!!)

I was the ditzy little blonde you see up there posing because I was for sure thinking I could and would be the best model ever (you know if the bird thing didn't work out...only a few people are laughing right now and thats ok!) I loved to play Barbies or My Little Ponies with my sister. I was the girl who would rather wait til the last second to go potty so I wouldn't miss anything. I was the little girl who ran (very clumsily!) and didn't get out of breathe. Life was pretty normal, I just had to go to the doctors more often.

My parents did a great job to make sure I had a normal life and that is very important. I was normal after all, right!? If I was a good girl when I got a shot or stayed still during a sit with the ENT I could get a special treat...I remember one time my dad during an ENT visit (which he HATED) told me if I held still and didn't cry he would buy me a Barbie. Little did he know I didn't mind the ENT because it meant no needles. I sat SO still cause that Barbie was gonna be mine. She was so beautiful. The other thing my mom would do in high school was let me skip a half day after an appointment and let me relax while she and Grandma would make some lunch. If you have the bad, you can have some good too.

But I do remember getting certain new meds. Like my nebulizer or when I started to take my pills in capsule form and not mixed into my applesauce! I never questioned what it was for, I just did it. I also remember my first PICC line (Ok, I questioned that one and many of those after!!) And I remember every surgery. I look at Laila and just think, "How did my parents do it?!" 

But Laila is at that age (and seeing me sick so much) that she is starting to just KNOW about CF. Now I haven't been to the point, and not sure how or if I ever will be, in explaining to her how this is terminal. YUCK I hate that word...TERMINAL. I figure one day she will figure it out when she learns more through my doctors appointments, hospitalizations, surgeries, sicknesses and listening to her parents talk. But for now I am letting her enjoy the childhood she has without having to worry about her mommy and the thought of not always having one. 

Still sick...sicker...so now its time to do some work and rest up. Meds and water!