My Moments to Breathe

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Just relax

It is a Saturday morning and I am up too early (Yes, I know most people wake up super early, but I need extra beauty sleep!) The last few days my mind just hasn't been able to shut off.

Its is a life style change. From the moment you are put on the list it is a life style change. I have one more week of the life I know and then things change forever. I want to cram so much in but just don't know how. This is the last week I don't have to sit by my cell phone 24 hours. This is the last week of not wondering WHEN. This is the last time I get to freely go to Michigan. Cramming way too much into my trip, but not being able to. I am glad I will see so many faces at the walk for this reason. The list could go on. I don't know how to do this new life, I only know the life and lungs I have now. Again, its all about the fear of the unknown. Jeremy and I will be sitting and getting all our ducks in a row within the next few days. I am putting all my trust in the Lord on this one.

I will be fine.

I learned 2 days ago that my health is on Laila's mind more than I thought. Apparently in school she asks if they can pray for "Momma" when they all pray. This makes me have tears of happiness and guilt. So happy my little girl knows who to turn to and that she wants me to feel better. I love her for that. But also sad that made she carries that thought with her often. Again, just the thought of being unfair to her. But man am I going to raise such a strong girl. And I love her for that too.

So this is the week that although I will be asked so many questions, and will be doing a CF fundraiser, I will NOT let CF get the best of me or rule my life (and those I love.) Bring it CF, you don't know who you are dealing with. 

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