My Moments to Breathe

Thursday, October 10, 2013

D6/5 can you hear me?!

There is no way around but to say this STINKS!

I am back in the hospital with a very bad infection. The last few days I was feeling like I was suffocating and just couldn't breathe. Heck, I couldn't even walk across the house without having to sit down on the floor or bed and just rest. So Jeremy and I decided it was time to call and see what was going on.

We came in yesterday to see how "bad off" I really was. My weight is at a steady 97lbs...yeap a whole whopping 97lbs...and my pfts are now down to 18%. What an awful number to see, there isn't much wiggle room to work with now. I can't drop much more without having to basically LIVE here in Madison. I am hooked up to a bunch of things....being pumped full of drugs, fluid, treatments and the dreaded tube feedings. 

I had a good talk with my NP, Brooke, and it was nice to hear things she had to say. Like I am the highest on the list that I really can be for my size and blood type without getting so sick that I would be on life support. She said I needed to stay where I am now and from now on I will always start my IV treatments in the hospital for a few days. I am going to spare you all the things she said that I didn't like because I am trying to tell myself that NOPE I am not getting to that point. I am going to kick some butt this week and just realize that I can't do everything I want to do. Cooking, cleaning and taking care of my fam is my job and sadly that even gets put on hold sometimes.

Since winter is coming up I decided that I was going to save my little pennies from taking pictures and get some new boots I incentive for getting out of here and staying out. I can rock my new boots out in public. Doesn't that cure any blues away? It is for sure time to stop being glum and face the little bit of life that I have left in this set of lungs. They have lasted a pretty long time and I am just trying to spoil them so they want to work a tad bit longer hehe!! 

Enjoy life, if there is something you want to it because you have to ability!! I know I am (boots hehe!)

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