My Moments to Breathe

Thursday, December 19, 2013

1 month!

It has been a month (and 1 day) since I got my new bling. And this morning it REALLY hit me. I am able to live now. I am able to have a new life. I can breathe, I can walk, I can live.

I had another doctors appointment on Monday and everything is still going so well. They are still amazed at what I have been able to do. They say I look amazing. They say my lungs look amazing, as a matter of fact all the extra air that surrounded them is now gone. I got all my staples and stitches out now (besides the ones that should take about 2 or 3 months to fully heal.)

My lung function went up 1% HAHA but hey its going the right direction! But the cool thing was when they measure the air I could force out between a certain area, pre transplant I was at 7%...yes that is a 7...and on Monday I was at a 102%!! Imagine that difference, feels amazing. It is also crazy how I can blow out air for more than 10 seconds and am still not entirely out. Before if I could do that for 5 seconds it was a good day and that would still include a minute to catch my breathe. I didn't realize how cruddy my lungs were until now...breathing is a fun thing. It never gets old seeing my oxygen at 99 or 100% either. Still makes me very teary eyed. I can breathe!

Now BLAH I have to gain lots of weight...and good weight. I now only weigh 89.9 lbs and probably look like a skeleton. Eating is getting easier and things are starting to taste normal again so no worries right now, I am getting there. I am going to throw this out there though...I KNOW I AM TOO SKINNY. I KNOW I NEED TO EAT. I KNOW THIS ALL SO PLEASE WHEN YOU SEE ME, I DON'T NEED TO BE REMINDED. All it really does is hurt my feeling a little bit. I eat what I can and am trying to learn a new life style. I will get there so you all need to be as patient as I should be :)

I started Pulm Rehab this week and eeps I have no muscle. I am like a little toddler who just learned how to walk again. Walking up and down stairs is pretty pathetic right now...but funny to watch. Again, I am getting there. Just need to take it a bit slow and really just pace myself.

My medicine is still a little crazy and still adjusting, which makes for a pretty messed up body. I shake now and always have a bad taste in my mouth. But I can breathe. I am looking forward to when things start to become normal and when things can stay the same for awhile. My body really just wants to adjust to all this but doesn't know how. I try and tell myself this was a pretty big surgery and its only been a month...but that whole healthy girl inside really wants to bust out!!!

Jeremy is doing really well, and has had 1 afternoon and 1 evening off of Cassie duty (thanks Ape and Connie for taking me out...) and enjoyed time to relax and not have to worry about anything but taking care of himself. This made me pretty happy to know he got some him time (he gets more tomorrow because I am getting my nails done for Christmas WOO HOO!) He has been so good throughout this whole thing. Amazing!

Laila is still doing well too. We got to FaceTime her the other day and after 4 weeks I finally got to see her sweet little face. I tell you what, it was the best feeling. That little girl was all smiles and questions. She wanted to show me everything and tell my everything...she was so excited she even told me a present Angie bought me....ooopps!! She is being super spoiled and calls about 4 times a day. Her phrase is, "I'm waiting to long for you to come here..." And all I can do is agree, it seems like its been forever since I have seen or hugged her (great now I am crying...) I just miss her so much. I am trying to remember that this is whats best. I can heal longer, get in a routine, rest, and she can have a wonderful Christmas filled with everything she deserves!! Its just hard when you as a Mom (and Dad) have to miss it.

Still healing and still praying!!!


  1. I love knowing "the REST of the story" as I read this~ the REUNION! :) Keep up the good work, Cassie. Hard, but worth it! Hang in there, one step at a time. Love and prayers from SE WI. Hope we can see you all again soon.