My Moments to Breathe

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Slowly learning

It has been nice to be outside of the hospital and into hotel living. No surprise, but they were right when they said that life would start out rocky and be consumed by transplant things at first. Take meds, eat, rest, control pain, repeat. May not sound that big of a deal, but when you are on a schedule and need things done 4 times a seems like thats all you do. Luckily, cell phones come with alarms and I have Jeremy to help with everything. 

Things that I know soon enough will only take my 30 minutes in the morning and at night time take me about an hour now because I am so new and uncertain about each step. I can't wait til I can do everything like a boss again. I have gained so many new medications the last 2 weeks that it can seem a little intense...I just have to get used to do all this because I am healthy versus all the old things because I am sick. So what if I have to swallow 8 hand fulls off pills a day..they are going to keep me alive and breathing.

Pain and anxiety come and go. It is crazy...things like my long hair touching the skin on my back can make me cringe. My back freaks out, my legs are swollen and sore, the fog the oxy leaves me in isn't fun.  But again, luckily I have Jeremy to help with so much of all that...and hasn't complained once. He for sure has had a ton he could too...heck, I peed on the poor guy. What a rock!

Breathing: this subject will change over I learn how to breathe and cough and use all the bling these lung have. I am asked often what it feels like, all I can really say is CRAZY! Clean air goes in and even though it may not be deep yet and I still have junk to clean out of the lungs, the air I do have is just so easily placed all over. I am not out of breathe when I walk, as a matter of fact I did my 6 minute walk and did nothing less than a 98% on oxygen...and that was me walking by myself on my own 2 feet as quick as my chubby weak little legs would let me. I can do things without having to rest for more oxygen or because I need to catch my breathe or cough. That is just crazy. I am VERY weepy when I talk about the breathing part. Especially because I know it will only get better!

Blood sugar and insulin on the other hand have me working hard. I am not a good carb counter I guess, but will for sure get better at it and the more I get used to it the more I will eat etc. I am not used to and do not like the fact that I can't jut eat a little here or there or whatever. This is something I know will just take me some time. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. 

I am bruised up pretty badly and they are so nasty thanks to the blood thinner, but I am hoping this will only be for a few months and that all can get back to more of a normal thing. My clam incision looks really clean, sore, but clean. And the "holes" from the chest tubes are the same way. When I get a glimpse of it in the mirror it actually makes me a little woozy! EESH! I think just because it is on my body, but ouch and ick. I for sure can't wait until that is all healed. 

I keep getting excited because I DID IT. I got my transplant and the surgery and hospital stay are over. The worst physical part is coming to a slow down...but now comes all the mental parts. It is a good thing I got new lungs because I know I am going to need to do some deep breathing on this one. Dear Lord, again wrap me in your arms and carry me to a state of constant sanity. 

Here is to day 2 of a free transplant patient over. I will mark it as a success!!


  1. Amen. I love the bling thing, too. :) So good to hear your thoughts. Thanks. God keep you, friend.