My Moments to Breathe

Monday, August 26, 2013

Waiting isn't fun

Today is Monday. And this weekend is Labor Day weekend. But lets back up a few days...

I took a little nap on Saturday knowing that I was going to be taking some pictures that evening and just wanted to make sure to "rest my body" and try to stay as healthy as I can for as long as I can. I had started to wake up when my phone rang, naturally when my phone rings as of late there is always that moment that I think, "THIS IS IT..." but as you can see, it hasn't been (well except, you know that ONE time like a month ago...) It was mom and as much as I love her I decided to let her go to voice mail so I could wake up a little more.

I walked out into the living room to Jeremy talking to grandma is not doing well. UGH this is one of those times that you remember how not fun it is to live far away from family. And you also remember how not fun it is to be on a list so you aren't able to just pick and go. SIGH. I was told that it was some peoples wishes that I stay on the list and not come back...I have my own opinions on this but will just hush. I am sure you can guess what they are. From past experiences of things semi-related to this topic, some people knew that I would get worked up and my health could and probably would decline so I know I need to watch that and keep my mind on my health too. 

This weekend is a harvest weekend in the world of transplants and I know I should stay, CF Cassie knows I have to stay...but the other Cassie knows I have to go back for whatever should happen. It was going to have to be a waiting game and a talk to my coordinator. Thats very hard for me, more than I can explain.

I will admit that I was/am quite blue and wanted to be home, luckily my sister had some time off and caught a flight out last night. We have always gone through hard things together. And, of course, we weren't going to stop here. But thankfully the Lord has been watching out and looks like Ma is doing a little better and will hopefully be able to enter at home hospice. I called and was able to talk to her again tonight and it was so great, we laughed (and I cried a bit...) joked and just, well, talked. Thank you Lord. Let the waiting game continue a little longer!!!

I have had good quality time with my sister, doing all the things we go to feel a little better (its starting to be a routine and I am ok with that) like eating Mongo, doing nails, pictures, chit chatting....just being girls with a side of Jeremy! Thanks Nit for coming out. 

So today is Monday and we continue to wait and in the mean time...staying healthy, praying, and dealing.


  1. What do you mean by harvest weekend? Hopefully it means a call for you to get your much deserved lungs :)

  2. I think it means that there are more vehicle accidents on Labor Day weekend and that means more organs for donation. Prayers and strength for you Cassie, always