Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Building my way back up
Doesn't that oxygen look good on me HAHA!! I have been home for about 1.5 weeks and it feels pretty darn good. I was lucky enough to have family here the first week I was home to help do, well, EVERYTHING. They cooked, cleaned, cleaned, did things around the house, and cleaned. Thanks to my in-laws, Aunt Diane, and my beautiful mother. I am very nervous now that everyone is gone that I will fall downhill fast. Learning new things about myself...like how I am sicker than I think...and trying to be good a listen to my body.
So like I had said before I was getting a handicap sticker so that on cold days (and hot ones, or days I don't feel well) I can walk as little as possible before doing things I need to do...like Christmas shop or grocery shop. They cold really does get me, and come to find out it is normal for CF patients to have one. I am really nervous about using it and getting the odd looks from people who think I am just using the sticker to get a good spot. I mean I don't have a cast or wheelchair or a limp, and to a person in public I look pretty healthy. I told my parents I would just tell people that my lung capacity is 27% and I would trade them spots in the parking lot vs. health anyday! Well, I used it today for the very first time and got looks from 2 people in a car...and I did nothing but feel sad. I wimped out and said nothing but just walked away with my daughter. Something I guess I just need to deal with.
I don't admit this very often to people especially this many people, but I feel this time I got sick and hospital stay really took a huge toll on me. I lost a part of my health that I won't be able to get back. I am getting sicker. But I hope that I can stay this way for awhile and work up to being able to pass my big test in a few months. Somethings I still need to set up and trying to pysch myself up for it. I just keep trying to tell myself that this isn't defeat, CF hasn't beat you. You can still beat CF. Breathe Cassie.
Have to switch gears before I get to my emotional wreck stage again....
Laila had her ballet show this past Sunday and did such a fab job. She kept telling us she was so excited and she danced her little heart out. I know I may be biased but she was the cutest and best ballerina out there. She knew it all and hit her cues and marks! Yay Lai!! Yeah yeah I know I am just being a mother...BUT ITS TRUE!!
We are getting ready for Christmas (slowly) here at the Husby household. We tried settng up our Christmas tree tonight but half the lights are burnt out so it looks pretty funny right now. Another prject for another day. We aren't sending all the Christmas cards this year so look for a copy on the blog and my facebook....it makes me laugh. The presents are being shopped for (again slowly so I don't get burnt out) and Laila is learning her part for the Christmas program. Very excited, because this is one of my favorite times of year.
I know I have been awful about my 100 lists so watch the next few days for a few blogs about it! Very excited!