It didnt ring...yet

I think sometimes I set myself up for disappointment. And I feel like I did that this weekend. I packed my bag to the brim including my phone charger because I convinced myself that this was going to be the weekend I got my call. I cleaned my house and painted my nails so that it would be one less thing to cry about. I convinced myself so much that I have had so many dreams about it, good and bad...even woke up in a sweat this morning. 

I am trying to tell myself exactly what Jeremy has reminded me, in a nut shell to just move on because my life is the same as it was before the weekend started. I just swore my phone was going to ring early this morning. All I got was a wake up text from my sister. Needless to say I am going to try my hardest to just breathe and get the little disappointment out of my system. 

My grandma is doing somewhat better and the medication she received has helped a ton more than anyone had thought. Thank you, Lord. I am excited to call her later today and talk to her myself. She can still make me laugh and we are still able to joke...glad I got come of that Zell sense of humor (even if other people think its not so funny...)

I am very homesick right now and hate that I have no idea the next time I am going to be able to go home. I can't plan it because I just don't know. I miss my entire family, my old room, nasty chili fries, game nights, schnister time, my parents deck, tailgating with my dad, shopping with my mom....ok the list could go on and on. And this disappointment hasn't helped with that. 

GET OVER IT CASSIE!!

Get over it for you, your husband, your daughter and for everyone else who you are going to have to talk to. I am not going to sit here and cry anymore, I am not going to sit here and think of what COULD BE, but what WILL BE.