My Moments to Breathe

Monday, April 1, 2013


One crazy week is over and the second has just begun.

Laila had an awesome birthday this year!! And it was awesome because it was the first year that she was into her birthday and knew what it was all about...HER! I took her for her first mani/pedi and the little girl was smiling and giggling the whole time, well, in between talking I mean. She got to pick her own colors and even had sparkles put over them. It melts my heart just thinking of how happy she was. Then we took her to get rice at PF Changs and to go shopping at the mall (2 of her fav things) and whenever somebody would talk to her she would smile and say "Its my birthday..." HAHA love it. She was more spoiled than ever and I would have it no other way. With as crazy as her life is going to be I am glad she got to have a day that was all about her and we didn't say no to her requests!!

Easter was nice too. We sang one of my favorite hyms and even though I didn't get to sit with Jeremy because he was working (for those who don't now he is a Pastor!) it was still great to be with Laila (and my mother in law came over too.) We had a very nice dinner with some family and then I had to say goodbye to my sweet little lady for about a week. Because now its time to focus on those words I hate.


I went into pulm rehab this morning and a couple who works out there heard that I was going into my eval tomorrow and stopped to tell me that they were praying for me and that they could tell I am much better since I started working out. I smiled and agreed...yeah it has really built my body up for fighting and yeah I am doing better since my lungs are expanding.

Today I have been just relaxing, re reading everything, making my lists, packing, and trying not to tear up so much. I had a weak moment last night that I just sat and teared up and had to talk to Jeremy and hear his supporting words over again. I think the poor guy needs a medal after all this because his wife has been a mess the last week.

It is becoming real now. Today is the last day before that time is here. My life and the life of my husband and daughter, no matter if I get put on the list right away or not, will be turned sideways after the next 4 days. It will be either waiting by a phone or working hard to fix everything I need to fix to be able to sit wait by the phone.

Its real. The start is here. 

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